PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
