Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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