Sponge bath it is.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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