at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
