Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
