The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
