My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
