there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
