I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
