No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
