I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
