Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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