He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize