He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
