I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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