I want to walk on stilts...naked
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
