My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
