grandma shit on top of the toilet
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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