I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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