I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
