If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
do nipples grow back?
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