Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
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I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
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I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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