I cut my penus on the lid.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
