He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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