I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
