with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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