piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
