exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
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i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
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She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks