So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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