swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize