ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.