hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize