apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I want to fling myself into the sun
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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