she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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