I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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