I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Randomize
