At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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