I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
