erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize