Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
please come you make the beer taste better
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
