I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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