We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
