finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize
