I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
