Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
