and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize