The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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