id be glad to
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
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