She's JV to your varsity
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
