Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
