Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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