chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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