I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize