He kissed a someone with a penis
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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