TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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