whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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