My room smells like vodka and shame
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
