You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
